I shouldn't be alive- Fear of success

Attention: What you are about to read is a real life account about my life changing experience- the fear of failure and fear of success and how to measure success and principles of success.

I COULDN’T BREATHE! I tried to get up and leave, but I couldn’t. I felt a sharp, stabbing, immobilizing pain in my chest. Every time I tried to take a breath, the excruciating pain got worse. My breathing was so shallow, I struggled for air. I tried to plea for help, but I couldn’t. In a final plea for my life, I began to let out a shallow, broken plea for help. A-uuh . . . I . . . nee . . . h-e-l-p . . . C . . . all . . . for . . . h . . . elp. That last plea for help made the pain even greater. I began to break out in a cold sweat as I slouched hopelessly into the chair. Finally, the barber heard my broken plea and dialed 911.

It seemed like forever before the ambulance arrived. When the rescue workers arrived, they began asking me a series of questions. What’s your name? How are you feeling now? How old are you? Again, I had to dig within myself to find what little strength remained, to give them a broken and fragmented answer. As they checked my vital signs, I could see the looks in their faces. A look as if to say to me, so young. The one rescue worker asked, “How old are you?” I said, “T . . . we . . .twe . . nty . . . s . . . ix. He said, “Jesus Chr_ _ t.” I could see the look in his eyes, as if to say, “so young, and trying so desperately to hang on to life.” He had a look in his eyes as if this could be him or his son, daughter, or wife.

Then they gave me an oxygen mask and rushed me to the ambulance. As they stuck an IV in my arm, a man said, “Brace yourself, this may feel like a bee sting.” I didn’t flinch. The overwhelming pain in my chest made the feeling of the IV pale in comparison. The pain in my chest seemed like it was 100 times greater – as if I was attacked by a whole swarm of killer bees. As the ambulance raced towards the emergency room, I laid motionless on my back, fighting for every breath of air. The immobilizing pain didn’t let up, and in that dark twist of fate, I didn't see any way out. No way to escape! And an OVERWHELMING SENSE OF FEAR rushed over me. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I thought “isn’t this supposed to happen to someone else?” I thought to myself, “Today, I’m GOING TO DIE!” And worst of all, I’m not even going to get a chance to say goodbye to my family and friends.

Then, unexpectedly, something miraculous happened. Although the pain didn’t let up, I didn’t feel fear anymore – it was, as if the fear just wrung right out of me – as if I used it all up and didn’t have any left. I couldn’t believe it! How could this happen? Was I in shock? Was I in delusion? Did my brain shut down to protect myself? No, actually, it wasn’t any of these. Finally, out of exhaustion, I surrendered to my pain. I actually moved deeper into it and by doing that, it gradually subsided. So what caused that immobilizing, stabbing pain that beautiful summer day? Believe it or not, to my astonishment, it was UNDETERMINED.

That day, I did some serious soul-searching. Although I would never want to relive that experience again, it was a blessing in disguise. I reflected on what really matters in life and how many of the daily things we think matter so much don’t really matter much at all – like petty arguing and material things. And how many of the little things we overlook or take for granted each day, aren’t really little at all. Like a simple smile, reaching out to someone in need, family, friends.

And now I realized more clearly than ever how fear really does hold many of us back in life- the fear of failure and the fear of success imprisons us, robbing us from experiencing many of life’s treasures and full richness. I decided that day that no fear could be greater than what I experienced that day – a fear so great that I had no choice but to move beyond it. And if people could experience the level of fear I did that day, then they would see more clearly than ever, how fear really is holding them back from things they would like to experience in life.

It's like in the Wizard of Oz, where all through the movie, Dorothy, the lion, the tin man, and scarecrow had great fear and respect for the Wizard’s deep, booming, commanding voice. And when they finally reached the castle and pulled the curtain – to see that their great fear was really just a humble, little, old man behind the curtain.

So, I decided from that moment on, to go after my dreams, my goals, my passions, with everything I’ve got. To not hold back. To do my best, so that one day, when I’m looking back on my life, I may have some bumps or bruises along the way, but I can say I lived authentically. I had the courage to live my dream.

I offer you, right now, on the pages that follow, everything I’ve got- a real opportunity to pull the curtain and open up to a life full of vast treasures. But you won't have to go it alone. I will be your personal success coach and help you every step of the way learn how to measure success and achieve success with the greatest principles of success available today.

You now have a unique opportunity to create your own reality, to design the life you so desperately need, to live in accordance with your authentic self. I’m not saying there won’t be a few bumps or bruises along the way, but I tell you this much . . . whatever you find will be well worth it. So onward, let the journey begin . . Return from I Shouldn't Be Alive to home page